6 Effective Ways to Be an Engaged Parent

Tracy T • February 22, 2021

Research has shown time and time again that parent involvement is critical to children’s success. We all want to take an active role in our child’s education, but sometimes it can be a challenge to discern just where our efforts are best spent. Below we touch on six critical areas that all parents can focus on to make a big difference.

1. Make connections

Consider the whole school community and make connections with others whenever possible. This usually starts early, with your child’s teacher. Let them know who you are, reach out whenever you have questions or concerns, and ask them how you might best support their work in the classroom.

Connections can also be made with our administrators. You likely met us during the admissions process, but it’s always nice to say hello and touch base when you can offer support or have positive feedback.

Do you have a passion for art? Check in with your child’s art teacher just for conversation or to help out. Feeling social? Attend one of our Coffee Klatsches or other parent events, or reach out to a fellow parent through the school’s parent directory. Any time we connect with others, we strengthen the community as a whole, which is a great thing for everything involved. We still need to connect during this time of social distancing – perhaps now more than ever!

2. Volunteer

While the 2020-2021 school year is a very different one, as we work hard to keep our school safe and healthy, there are still ways to get involved. We completely understand that most parents have busy schedules, and that not everyone is comfortable with every type of volunteering, but we encourage all families to contribute.  Attend one of our socially-distanced Outdoor Work Parties or other volunteer events, or ask your child’s teacher if there is a project you can assist with from home.

3. Keep learning

As educators, we consider ourselves to be lifelong learners. We work hard to cultivate a joy of learning in the children we teach, so that they may carry that passion for knowledge with them throughout their lifetimes. We hope that the families we serve feel the same way.

Montessori education is unlike any other method of learning and teaching. In order to fully support your child’s growth and learning, it really helps if you as a parent prioritize learning what you can about Montessori. By understanding more about child development, our methods, and why Montessori does things differently, you will have a deeper understanding of what goes on during your child’s school day, and you will find more nuanced ways to support them at home.  We have a lending library for our families; if interested, contact your child’s teacher to help locate a book for you to borrow on Montessori or other parenting topics. You can also join us for our Coffee Klatsches and our weekly Science Behind Montessori’s Success Zoom presentations, through March 10. Contact Tracy at [email protected] for more information.

“Keep learning” isn’t just about Montessori, either. We believe all humans should stay curious. If your child sees you nurturing your own passions and seeking out new information regularly, you are setting an example that will stick with them for a lifetime. So take time out to learn more about whatever interests you, and share your enthusiasm with the whole family when it strikes.

4. Support learning at home

Learning doesn’t just take place within the confines of a classroom; it happens everywhere. Children spend a huge portion of their time at home, and while the home is a multi-purpose environment, it can also support children’s learning. We don’t mean you should go out and purchase Montessori materials (in fact, we don’t advocate doing so without specialized training). There are plenty of simple and small ways to support learning. Our bet is you’re likely already doing many of these! A few ideas:

    • Keep plenty of books and magazines around. Source your local library and second-hand bookstore to keep things fresh! Trading with friends is another fun idea.
    • Play board games together. Not only does this give everyone a chance to connect, but many games have elements of learning embedded into the fun.
    • Spend time in the kitchen. There are so many important skills to be gained, from practical life to fractions.
    • Emphasize toys that make kids think. Instead of the flashing, battery-powered variety, think about more open-ended options. Art supplies, blocks, colorful scarves, and even sets like marble runs keep kids entertained and thinking.
    • Read together. Again, this is a great way to connect while building all sorts of literacy skills.

5. Consider different forms of advocacy

It won’t come as a surprise when we say that parents are their children’s strongest advocates. Whether your child is struggling in academic or social skills, when they’re young they count on you to convey this information to other adults. Open communication is key, and it helps to recognize that children often have very different experiences at home and school. If you have concerns about your child, address them with their teacher early, and stay connected to discuss progress.

It is very important for us to note that you will not be able to advocate for your child forever. One of the hallmarks of Montessori education is to nurture children’s independence, and we count on parents to help us in this endeavor. We want to teach our children to advocate for themselves, so as soon as they are able, we should encourage them and teach them how to speak up for themselves.

Do they wish they had more challenging math work? Talk them through how they might ask their teacher. Are they struggling with another child on the playground? Go over various options and scenarios with them so they know how they might try and solve the problem in the future.

Our children need us to stand up for them, but ultimately, they need us to teach them to stand up for themselves.

6. Attend events

Being an involved member of the community is one of the simplest and most effective ways to support your child and their school. We want to again acknowledge that families are busy, but we hope you will join us whenever possible.

Some events are education, while others are meant to be just fun. Either way, they are a great way to build and strengthen connections. Check out some of our school events at https://www.montessorinorthshore.org/calendar/.

We want to thank you for being a valued member of our community. Having different voices and perspectives is part of what makes our school strong, and we are grateful to all of you for everything you do to support us and your children!

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In Part One of this series, we began exploring the eight Montessori principles that Dr. Angeline Stoll Lillard examines in her landmark book, Montessori: The Science Behind the Genius . As we saw, what makes these principles so compelling is that Dr. Maria Montessori's intuitions about children were a precursor to what decades of developmental science have since confirmed about how humans actually learn. In this second and final installment, we pick up where we left off, examining the remaining principles and the research that brings them to life. Whether you're a parent, an educator, or simply someone curious about what effective learning really looks like, these insights offer a fascinating window into the remarkable alignment between one woman's careful observations over a century ago and the science we have today. If you haven’t already, be sure to check out the previous four principles: Movement and Learning Are Deeply Entwined Choice Improves Both Learning and Well-Being Children Learn Best When They're Genuinely Interested Rewards Undermine the Motivation They're Meant to Build PRINCIPLE FIVE: Children Learn Powerfully from Each Other When you walk into a Montessori classroom, you’ll notice that children are almost always working near or directly with other children. Peer learning is one of the most effective forms of learning, and Montessori classrooms are deliberately structured to make it a constant. Much of this learning happens through observation. When a child watches a slightly older classmate work through challenging material, they're absorbing the technique and the possibility. They begin to see what they can do! Peer observation often drives a spontaneous "explosion" of writing or number awareness, spreading through a class (e.g., one child suddenly writing everywhere, then several more following). The mixed-age grouping in Montessori classrooms amplifies this. Younger children always have a visible horizon of what's coming next. Older children consolidate their own understanding by helping younger ones (which is one of the most effective learning strategies known). And the large, stable class community means children have time to build genuine relationships and observe one another across many contexts over several years. PRINCIPLE SIX: Meaningful Context Makes Learning Richer and More Lasting Children remember far more when what they're learning is connected to something real and purposeful. What the Research Shows In one study, three-year-olds were asked to memorize lists of items. When the lists were presented as shopping lists for a pretend store, the children remembered twice as many items as those who were simply told to memorize a list. Montessori education is built on this principle. Practical life activities such as cooking, cleaning, caring for plants and animals teach children that the skills they are learning connect to the real world. The Montessori curriculum is deliberately integrated. Vocabulary develops alongside sensorial exploration. Math concepts are entwined with concrete materials that make abstract ideas visible. Knowledge in one area consistently links to knowledge in others. This is why Montessori materials are not isolated exercises but part of a spiral curriculum that returns to the same ideas with greater depth and complexity as children grow. PRINCIPLE SEVEN: How Adults Interact with Children Shapes Everything The way an adult responds to a child's efforts has effects that ripple far beyond the moment. What the Research Shows Carol Dweck's research, now widely cited, demonstrated that a single sentence of feedback can set children on divergent trajectories. Children told "you must be smart" after succeeding at a problem later chose easier tasks, enjoyed them less, and performed worse after encountering difficulty. Children told "you must have worked hard" sought harder challenges, recovered from failure more readily, and improved their performance over time. The difference is in the delivery of one sentence! The implications are profound for how we talk to children about both their successes and their struggles. In a Montessori classroom, the adult’s role is carefully defined: to observe, to connect children to materials at the right moment, to step back when a child is productively engaged, and to step in only when something is genuinely unproductive or unsafe. This requires a great deal of precision and restraint. An adult who constantly intervenes, corrects, and directs trains children to look outward for approval. An adult who observes and offers at the right moment helps children learn to look inward. Consistency and long-term relationships also matter. The multi-age grouping in Montessori means that children spend multiple years with the same adults, building the kind of attachment and trust that research consistently links to stronger learning outcomes and healthier social-emotional development. PRINCIPLE EIGHT: Order in the Environment Supports Order in the Mind The Montessori classroom's distinctive aesthetic reflects a deep understanding of how the environment shapes cognition. What the Research Shows Research consistently shows that noise, clutter, and unpredictability are cognitively costly for children. When an environment is chaotic, children spend precious mental energy managing uncertainty rather than engaging in learning. Temporal order matters as much as spatial order. The three-hour uninterrupted work cycle (a hallmark of Montessori classrooms) gives children long enough stretches of focused time to move from initial engagement to deep concentration and, eventually, to the kind of absorbed flow that produces real intellectual development. Frequent interruptions (bells, transitions, whole-class pivots) train children to work in short bursts and to constantly reorient. The three-hour cycle allows children to go deep. Children in Montessori classrooms are also responsible for maintaining their environment by returning materials to their proper place, caring for plants and classroom spaces, and treating everything with consideration. This care builds the child's relationship to order as something they participate in creating rather than something imposed from the outside. Even noise levels matter in ways that go beyond comfort. What the Research Shows Research cited by Dr. Lillard found that across all ages, noise was one of the most consistently negative influences on cognitive development, partly because it interferes with the auditory discrimination that underpins both reading and vocabulary development. The quiet that characterizes a well-functioning Montessori classroom is the natural result of many children deeply absorbed in their own work. What makes Dr. Lillard’s work so valuable because it validates the Montessori method and gives the why behind practices that can otherwise seem puzzling from the outside. There are important reasons why Montessori teachers don't correct every error, why there are no gold stars, why the classroom is so quiet, and why children seem to do the same work over and over. This approach to education is deeply rooted in creating conditions in which children's natural drive to learn can develop as fully as possible! To learn more, visit our school here in Milwaukee. And let us know if you would like to borrow a copy of Montessori: The Science Behind the Genius by Dr. Angeline Stoll Lillard! It is one of the most research-grounded books available on Montessori education, and we highly recommend it for anyone who wants to understand the deeper logic of Montessori!
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