Silver Linings: Moments of Joy Amidst the Challenges

hammad ali • January 25, 2021

Growing up during a global pandemic is a challenge. For that matter, so is parenting and educating children during this time. How can we create an atmosphere of normal when our world is anything but?

Somehow, even with remote learning, safety precautions, separation from friends and family, and so much more, there are still glimmers of good. A global threat has somehow managed to connect us all while making our little worlds a bit smaller and a bit more cozy. We have been forced to slow down. Our perspectives have adjusted. And although we are still facing critical challenges, we can all agree that the moments of joy in between have been even sweeter.

After hearing from parents and teachers, we decided to share some of their words and the silver linings they have been experiencing. We would love to hear from you; please join the conversation and let us know how your family has found moments of joy throughout the past year.

Spending more time together as a family

Early last year it felt like the world came to a grinding halt. Like it or not, many of us suddenly found ourselves at home a whole lot more than we were used to. Schools turned to remote learning and offices had employees working from home. We all became well-versed in navigating zoom calls, simultaneously juggling parenting and working, finding a bit of grace when we couldn’t balance it all, and, perhaps unsurprisingly, we began to delight in the extra time together as a family.

Without commutes and social obligations, we have found ourselves gathering around the coffee table for board games. Family movie nights have been a regular occurrence, and who among us hasn’t stepped up their cooking and/or baking game?

Even as our schedules have slowly inched their way back toward some semblance of normality, the extra family time has remained a newly treasured value for many of us.

“Without after-school activities or weekend events, we have been more involved with each other and spending quality time together. Things that we may have done once a week and squeezed into busy schedules have become routine. Cooking as a family, game nights, Jenga before school, even raking leaves becomes a family project and a chance to be silly together. We have pulled in and around each other, becoming even better friends and companions as we realize how important it is to protect ourselves and our community. We have also come to treasure the family moments that we have with grandparents and cousins instead of taking their presence for granted as we did before.”

We have begun to more fully recognize the preciousness of our time together. We cannot control what happens in the larger world around us, but we can focus inward and relish in the beauty of spending more time with our children.

“I feel guilty saying this, with all of the loss and hardship that so much of the world has experienced due to the pandemic, but these days have been a truly wonderful time for us.  We’ve never cared much for routines and schedules.  What feels like uncertainty, boredom, and loss of structure to some, feels like a gift to us.  A gift of freedom to chase whatever butterflies emerge from our imaginations.  And, with fewer places to be, fewer people to meet, a gift of time to chase our butterflies as far as we want.  We often wake up with ideas of things we want to create.”

The admirable resilience of our children

“In a world where grown-ups complain and refuse to do the right thing, I watched our child and others easily adapt to wearing masks and taking safety precautions. I try to see the world through her eyes and enjoy the simplicity of doing the right thing without complaint or issue.”

While we are not in any way diminishing the challenges our children have faced, it has been pretty amazing to watch how well they have coped overall. Some folks have been taken aback by just how well their kids have adjusted. Many of our children have stepped up and shown a level of independence and maturity that surprises us. Other parents have admired the ease in which they have adapted to regulations designed for keeping us all safe.

“The growth that came with adjusting to remote learning. I’ve watched my 8-year-old behave like a college student – figuring out and tracking assignments, joining zoom meetings and taking on time management in a way many adults aren’t able to. I’m so proud of her! The independence fostered through Montessori methods has really shone brightly during this dark time.”

Celebrating the silliness

For teachers, the children continue to be a source of inspiration and this sometimes shines through in delightfully unexpected ways. One Montessori guide shared how new disinfecting guidelines led one of her primary students to encourage her in the cutest way possible.

“We are cleaning, now more than ever before, in the classroom. The day is broken by random spurts of spraying and cleaning and hand washing and cleaning and cleaning and cleaning! One day the youngest member of our class watched me spraying down a desk and said, “You are doing a great job!” His innocent comment made me laugh and calmed me in my rush of cleaning.”

Getting Creative

For so many of us, more time at home has meant more time for creativity. As we mentioned earlier in the article, many families have taken to the kitchen. Some have created makeshift art studios. Some have created elaborate blanket forts or marble runs made out of toilet paper tubes taped to hallway walls.

Montessori often spoke about the need to give our children long periods of uninterrupted time so that they may delve deeply into areas of interest. While this is the basis for Montessori work periods, it has also found an unexpected application in our forced time at home. Our kids are showing us interests, talents, and skills that we may have never even known they had. It is amazing to watch their deep focus, and their joy in what they create.

“These days, we can make spy cases for all occasions (we now have the lady’s handbag, art case, and toolbox models), with hidden compartments, handmade spy tools, and secret agent case files; fully engineered and illustrated card games and board games (that are actually fun to play!); and a hand-bound, hand-drawn nutshell library of original stories (a work in progress).  One morning, I had an “epiphany,” as Paloma likes to call it. I said to her, “I have an idea.  It’s just a small one.”  And with a knowing (and complicit) smile, she replied, “You don’t have small ideas.”  She doesn’t either.  And the time we’ve been given means that we don’t have to make our ideas smaller.”

None of us know exactly when this pandemic will end. We still face so many serious challenges of many types, and we must work hard to support and protect one another. But let us take just a bit of time to notice the good, for there is much of that as well.

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In Part One of this series, we began exploring the eight Montessori principles that Dr. Angeline Stoll Lillard examines in her landmark book, Montessori: The Science Behind the Genius . As we saw, what makes these principles so compelling is that Dr. Maria Montessori's intuitions about children were a precursor to what decades of developmental science have since confirmed about how humans actually learn. In this second and final installment, we pick up where we left off, examining the remaining principles and the research that brings them to life. Whether you're a parent, an educator, or simply someone curious about what effective learning really looks like, these insights offer a fascinating window into the remarkable alignment between one woman's careful observations over a century ago and the science we have today. If you haven’t already, be sure to check out the previous four principles: Movement and Learning Are Deeply Entwined Choice Improves Both Learning and Well-Being Children Learn Best When They're Genuinely Interested Rewards Undermine the Motivation They're Meant to Build PRINCIPLE FIVE: Children Learn Powerfully from Each Other When you walk into a Montessori classroom, you’ll notice that children are almost always working near or directly with other children. Peer learning is one of the most effective forms of learning, and Montessori classrooms are deliberately structured to make it a constant. Much of this learning happens through observation. When a child watches a slightly older classmate work through challenging material, they're absorbing the technique and the possibility. They begin to see what they can do! Peer observation often drives a spontaneous "explosion" of writing or number awareness, spreading through a class (e.g., one child suddenly writing everywhere, then several more following). The mixed-age grouping in Montessori classrooms amplifies this. Younger children always have a visible horizon of what's coming next. Older children consolidate their own understanding by helping younger ones (which is one of the most effective learning strategies known). And the large, stable class community means children have time to build genuine relationships and observe one another across many contexts over several years. PRINCIPLE SIX: Meaningful Context Makes Learning Richer and More Lasting Children remember far more when what they're learning is connected to something real and purposeful. What the Research Shows In one study, three-year-olds were asked to memorize lists of items. When the lists were presented as shopping lists for a pretend store, the children remembered twice as many items as those who were simply told to memorize a list. Montessori education is built on this principle. Practical life activities such as cooking, cleaning, caring for plants and animals teach children that the skills they are learning connect to the real world. The Montessori curriculum is deliberately integrated. Vocabulary develops alongside sensorial exploration. Math concepts are entwined with concrete materials that make abstract ideas visible. Knowledge in one area consistently links to knowledge in others. This is why Montessori materials are not isolated exercises but part of a spiral curriculum that returns to the same ideas with greater depth and complexity as children grow. PRINCIPLE SEVEN: How Adults Interact with Children Shapes Everything The way an adult responds to a child's efforts has effects that ripple far beyond the moment. What the Research Shows Carol Dweck's research, now widely cited, demonstrated that a single sentence of feedback can set children on divergent trajectories. Children told "you must be smart" after succeeding at a problem later chose easier tasks, enjoyed them less, and performed worse after encountering difficulty. Children told "you must have worked hard" sought harder challenges, recovered from failure more readily, and improved their performance over time. The difference is in the delivery of one sentence! The implications are profound for how we talk to children about both their successes and their struggles. In a Montessori classroom, the adult’s role is carefully defined: to observe, to connect children to materials at the right moment, to step back when a child is productively engaged, and to step in only when something is genuinely unproductive or unsafe. This requires a great deal of precision and restraint. An adult who constantly intervenes, corrects, and directs trains children to look outward for approval. An adult who observes and offers at the right moment helps children learn to look inward. Consistency and long-term relationships also matter. The multi-age grouping in Montessori means that children spend multiple years with the same adults, building the kind of attachment and trust that research consistently links to stronger learning outcomes and healthier social-emotional development. PRINCIPLE EIGHT: Order in the Environment Supports Order in the Mind The Montessori classroom's distinctive aesthetic reflects a deep understanding of how the environment shapes cognition. What the Research Shows Research consistently shows that noise, clutter, and unpredictability are cognitively costly for children. When an environment is chaotic, children spend precious mental energy managing uncertainty rather than engaging in learning. Temporal order matters as much as spatial order. The three-hour uninterrupted work cycle (a hallmark of Montessori classrooms) gives children long enough stretches of focused time to move from initial engagement to deep concentration and, eventually, to the kind of absorbed flow that produces real intellectual development. Frequent interruptions (bells, transitions, whole-class pivots) train children to work in short bursts and to constantly reorient. The three-hour cycle allows children to go deep. Children in Montessori classrooms are also responsible for maintaining their environment by returning materials to their proper place, caring for plants and classroom spaces, and treating everything with consideration. This care builds the child's relationship to order as something they participate in creating rather than something imposed from the outside. Even noise levels matter in ways that go beyond comfort. What the Research Shows Research cited by Dr. Lillard found that across all ages, noise was one of the most consistently negative influences on cognitive development, partly because it interferes with the auditory discrimination that underpins both reading and vocabulary development. The quiet that characterizes a well-functioning Montessori classroom is the natural result of many children deeply absorbed in their own work. What makes Dr. Lillard’s work so valuable because it validates the Montessori method and gives the why behind practices that can otherwise seem puzzling from the outside. There are important reasons why Montessori teachers don't correct every error, why there are no gold stars, why the classroom is so quiet, and why children seem to do the same work over and over. This approach to education is deeply rooted in creating conditions in which children's natural drive to learn can develop as fully as possible! To learn more, visit our school here in Milwaukee. And let us know if you would like to borrow a copy of Montessori: The Science Behind the Genius by Dr. Angeline Stoll Lillard! It is one of the most research-grounded books available on Montessori education, and we highly recommend it for anyone who wants to understand the deeper logic of Montessori!
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